Friday, March 27, 2009

5-4-Fri: Game Night

My pals have a tradition of hosting "Game Night" parties. These are, alternately, fabulous times for all involved or, woefully, end up with your pal iClipse sitting blindfolded in someone's living room trying to guess a clue solely from the shape of a play-doh model while a funny-boy bares his ass in my face to the general amusement of the crowd (stoopid, stoopid Cranium games).

Anyhoo, here are some groovy games you might want to consider for YOUR very own Game Night party:

1. Scene It. You need a DVD player and some patience to play this crowd-pleaser (apparently, it was designed to accommodate 80-year-old players so the video clips run a tad long). The trick is that you answer video-based questions about music, or sports, or movies. I recommend NOT playing against my idiot-savant friends Steve and Lisa, who can guess the actor's photo from just two pixel's worth of a picture.

2. Apples to Apples. Touted by both my game-harbinger pals Geoff/Leah and that informed goofball, Anne, this game is flawless except for the annoying laughing apple icon. It combines idiosyncrasy, humor, speed play, and cards toward the end of hee-lar-i-ous group fun.

3. Balderdash. Okay, I once voted, in all seriousness, for Bruce's made-up definition of "fearsome tiger spirit." (I will never live that down.) Yet, I still play this awesome game of making up fake definitions for little-known words. You can use the kit, or not; you make the call.

4. Ca$h n Gun$. This game is AWESOME. Eff that sad video game Grand Theft Auto, this is the shiz.

5. Masterpiece. The classic childhood game brought back into my life thanks to Jeanie-weanie and EBay. You play a stereotypically '70s character (for example, Roxy "Big D" Warrenson) who is bidding on artwork in an international auction. This game was designed back in the day when people thought that characters needed bio statements. You remember; this sort of thing inspired Clue to become a film.

I am thinking seriously of hosting a high-stakes game night where everyone brings a game and the winners each take home the game they won.

PS - I just brought home "Stop Thief: Electronic Cops and Robbers" from my Mom's place. As kids, we were mesmerized by the awesome power of the computer chip to play against us. Ah, naivete. Oh, and "Almost Saturday Night" by John Fogerty is great for a Game Night mix tape; now playing on iTunes.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Excellent Quotes: Stripes

He's a recluse. He's a mystery. He hardly ever returns phone calls. No, no, not me, silly: Bill Murray. His work in "Stripes" was inspired. Particularly this classic quote from the side-splitting met-the-woefully-underprepared-men scene:

"Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear and, when I do, it's usually something unusual. But, now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell; so much fun. And the imagination! Lee Harvey: you are a madman! When you stole that cow and your friends tried to make it with the cow; I want to party with you, cowboy. And the two of us together, forget it. I'm going to go out on a limb here. I'm going to volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe. And Sargent Hulka isn't always going to be there to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest, bestest buddy and big toe: Sargent Hulka."

-- John Winger (Bill Murray). Ivan Reitman, "Stripes." Columbia Pictures, 1981.

PS -- We are all deeply indebted to Harold Ramis. Any you guys call me Francis and I'll kill ya. Lighten up, Francis. Oh, and "Do Wah Diddy" by Manfred Mann is Oxbergerlicious; now playing on iTunes.

Friday, March 20, 2009

5-4-Fri: You Might Not Be a Redneck

I was having a conversation with a pal of mine and she suggested that the world really needs a series of reasons why you might be relatively certain that you are not, in fact, a redneck. I like it!

1. If you've ever moved your coffee table around in preparation for a wine and brie party and knocked over a stack of more than 5 back issues of the New Yorker you might not be a redneck.

2. If your 401K lost more than the value of your parent's home last year you might not be a redneck.

3. If the time you actually saw Jeff Foxworthy do this routine it was at a political fundraiser for Lamar Alexander's Senate campaign rather than on the new Sam's Club flat screen TV at Vern's house you might not be a redneck.

4. If you've been on television more than five times describing how your Administration failed to respond to the tornado warnings, you might not be a redneck.

5. If you've ever married your cousin ... and then made her the First Lady of the United States you might not be a redneck.

PS - If you haven't cooked a meal for your family in the past month that didn't include balsamic vinaigrette, edamame, or come from a cookbook with a picture of Tuscany on the cover, you might not be a redneck. Seriously, when she was five, one of my honorary nieces once asked, "Mommy, can I have some more edamame?" Woefully true. Oh, and listening to "Because of Her Beauty" by Karl Denson is un-rednecky; now playing on iTunes.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Do It: Play "Exquisite Corpse"

Your pal iClipse had a "Game Night" party last weekend and among the games proffered was a no-fuss, no-muss engager called "Exquisite Corpse." Here are the rules; suitable for 4-8 players:

* Tear several sheets of 8.5 X 11 paper in half length-wise.
* Pass one piece of paper, along with a pen, to every player.
* Each player writes a few lines of text on the paper, then folds all but the last line backward--so that the next person clockwise of them can only see the last line.
* Now, each player passes along their sheet, receives a new sheet, and takes up the narrative where the last line left off.
* By turns, fold the paper backward leaving only the last line visible and pass along.
* Lather, rinse, repeat until the sheet is full; the last player for each sheet should write "The End" at the end.

Here's an example from one of our game sheets (each new player's entry is indicated by alternating type):

"We never knew that she had such an amazing hidden talent. When she moved here from Chattanooga, TN, she left us guessing why her hair was red now and who the hell that strange Tennessee man was. I mean, seriously, she really had us wondering whether she liked cake. Some days she did -- coconut pound cake with a rich, butter cream icing. Some days, though, the butter went rancid and she hated aurgula, but loved escarole! Her favorite vegetable, tomato paste. "You assface," she cooed into his ear, endearingly, as she slowly unbuttoned his flat-front chinos and peed onto the burning cornfield in an attempt to extinguish it. Unfortunately, it kept flaring and there was nothing the doctor could do. The end."

Good times. Funnier if (a) you were there for the prior, uproarious story about the guys who set the field behind their school on fire and, woefully, tried to put it out by peeing on it and (b) had consumed several drinks. But still.

Do it: play Exquisite Corps.

PS - I think I'll do a 5-4-Fri on Game Night. Oh, and "Ah, the name is Bootsy, baby" by Bootsy Collins is funky goodness; now playing on iTunes.