Do It: Le Clown Triste de la Vie

What could be better than Star Wars? Star Wars co-written by George Lucas and Jean-Paul Charles Aymard Sartre, perhaps?

Could there have been a collaboration? Well, the movie was released in 1977 and the famous existentialist did not die until 1980. So it is possible. And the Internet is nothing if not a haven for the possible; naturally, someone out there has tried to give us a glimpse of the imaginary.

Do it: Watch The Existential Star Wars.

PS - If the sad, nihilistic, nauseating live death of existentialism had a soundtrack it might include a song by Bjork. Oh, and her "Army of Me" is like a woeful requiem knitting together the dreams of the troubled sleep of a respectful prostitute; now playing on iTunes.

5-4-Fri: Classic Rivalries

Forget the Steelers versus the Cardinals. After all, the Cardinals aren't even really from Arizona so how hyped up could you get? Here are the definitive 5 rivalries:

1. UNC v. Duke - This classic battle fuels more animosity than the theft of Helen of Troy. Total score UNC 129 victories; Duke 97. 'Nuff said.

2. Jedis v. Sith - These monastic warriors feud across space over the proper use of The Force and generally kick ass. The never-so-called Light Side Jedis wail on the Dark Siders, who seem terminally hampered by their affected capes.

3. Jets v. Sharks - What can you say? When you're a Jet you hate Sharks more than Katie does. Watch West Side Story and walk tall, daddio.

4. David v. Goliath - The original rivalry! (Because, when you think about it, Cane v. Abel was really more of the original murder.) This "the bigger they are the harder they fall" cage match also inspired the beloved Lutheran TV show.

5. Less Filling v. Tastes Great - Admit it. Even Socks/Yankees takes a back seat to The. Contest. Of. All. Time.

PS - I was tempted to mention Macs v. PCs, but, woefully, the list makes demands, people. Oh, and "East Coast West Coast Killas" by Dr. Dre et al is rivalicious.

Do It: Watch "Death Star Canteen" Lego Movie

Many moons ago I played this woeful game where a girl chased after me and I cluelessly ignored her; then, just when she completely lost interest, I fawningly chased after her for, like, a year. Anyhoo, she had this fondness for cross-dressing British comedian, Eddie Izzard.

The man is beeg genius. And some fellow genius has made a lego movie out of his "Death Star Canteen" sketch. I have booted this thing up about 20 times. Haw! Never grows old.

Watch the lego version of Eddie's routine on YouTube. Do it.

PS - My game is patented and now available to play at home--from Parker Brothers. Oh, and "Shine" by Collective Soul is rockin'; now playing on iTunes.