Excellent Quotes: Ender's Game

My new doctor randomly recommended to me that I read Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card, famous adoptive son of Greensboro, NC. It wasn't quite as random as, "Stay off that foot, read Ender's Game, and call me in the morning," but we got to her interest in SciFi pretty quickly. To be fully transparent, I was probably carting around The Windup Girl at the time (you know, on the off chance that I would sit for just a brief minute in the Kaiser Permanente waiting room).

In any case, as the loyal reader knows, if I read it, woefully for you, I inflict it on you. So, prepare yourself for a quote from the Hugo and Nebula Award-winning novella cum novel:

"It was a hot summer afternoon in Florida when they landed. Ender had been so long without sunlight that the light nearly blinded him. He squinted and sneezed and wanted to get back indoors. Everything was far away and flat; the ground, lacking the upward curve of the Battle School floors, seemed instead to fall away, so that on level ground Ender felt as though he were on a pinnacle. The pull of real gravity felt different and he scuffed his feet when he walked. He hated it. He wanted to go back home, back to the Battle School, the only place in the universe where he belonged."

- Card, Orson Scott. Ender's Game. New York (NY): Tor (Tom Doherty Associates), 1991. P. 158.

PS - I read the 1991 "Author's Definitive Edition" complete with a very engaging introduction that acknowledged its obvious debt to Asimov and explicated some of its intent and meaning for Card and for some young readers. Plus it scored points for self-deprecating humor: "It makes me a little uncomfortable, writing an introduction to Ender's Game. After all, the book has been in print for six years now, and in all that time, nobody has ever written me to say, 'You know, Ender's Game was a pretty good book, but you know what it really needs? An introduction!'" Oh, and speaking of science fiction, Ron Glass (playing space preacher Shepherd Book) is the unusual black man with a pony tail. And rapper Freedom Williams was a black man with a pony tail. And his '90s hit with C+C Music Factory, "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" deserves its own authors' definitive edition; now playing on iTunes.

Phonetic Alphabet

A friend of mine challenged me to learn the Phonetic Alphabet. You know the one--it's what soldiers are busy saying in all the old war movies: "Roger Home Base, this is Echo One. Our location is Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. Awaiting instructions. Over." I was initially unconvinced of its value to a civilian in the 21st century except as an engagingly eccentric interest/ability; of which some would say that I perhaps already have an overflowing cupful.

Yet, I was recently doing that thing where some business has established a convenient voice recognition system to aide you in your inquiry, but, woefully, it only speaks a sub-dialect of Russian, so when it inquires, "What movie would you like to see?" and you respond, "Zombieland" it says, "You have selected 'Maid in Manhattan;' is this correct?" Except I was actually using United's phone booking system and the automated woman and I were facing some early relationship jitters as she consistently misheard my boarding code, which was something intuitive like XGFCHLMT. After the third failed attempt she says, "We appear to be having difficulty understanding each other." I reflexively brace myself for the "It's not you it's me" speech, but then she says, "Let's try something else. Say the name of something that begins with each letter. For example 'Alice' for 'A' or 'Bob' for 'B.' Please repeat your boarding code this way now." Too late I realize the utility of the Phonetic Alphabet, which would have gotten me quickly to my flight departure information and made me look impossibly cool at the same time. Instead, I made up wild silent letter and other fantastical associations for my own amusement--"X as in Xylophone, G as in Gila Monster, F as in Fenestrate." She was less than amused. I gave up on our burgeoning love (hey, a sense of humor matters) and pressed "O" for a live human being.

Don't get caught out this way. Immediately, as I now have, memorize the following alliterative alphabetic mantra:

ALPHA
BRAVO
CHARLIE
DELTA
ECHO
FOXTROT
GOLF
HOTEL
INDIA
JULIET
KILO
LIMA
MIKE
NOVEMBER
OSCAR
PAPA
QUEBEC
ROMEO
SIERRA
TANGO
UNIFORM
VICTOR
WHISKEY
X-RAY
YANKEE
ZULU

PS - Have you noticed that Joss Whedon is using the Phonetic Alphabet to name the "actives" in his underwhelming new tee-vee show, "Dollhouse"? Oh, and "I am Trying to Break Your Heart" by Wilco is Golf Oscar Oscar Delta; now playing on iTunes.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Remember the writer's strike? David Letterman's beard. Endless "reality tv" repeats. Public worries that the next season of "Two and a Half Men" might be delayed. Good times.

How did I cope? I read books, dog. How did Joss Whedon cope? Hilariously.

Imagine being rich and having funny actor friends and access to world-class video equipment. Now imagine none of you can work for current production. Now imagine what a great chance it would be to go down to the basement and make a three-part Web-based musical mini-series about an evil genius trying to gain entry into the exclusive Evil League of Evil but not entirely succeeding. (Perhaps partly because, woefully, his henchmen sport dastardly powers like having unnaturally moist hands.)

I know! Such a great idea. And the end results are stunningly clever.

PS - How, how, how is "Two and a Half Men" so popular?! (Top 10 show; 9.2 million dumass viewers weekly.) Still, Chuckles gave us "Big Bang Theory." All is forgiven. Oh, and "Debaser" by The Pixies rocks, now playing on iTunes.

Joss Whedon & The Book of Lies

Why don't I have a book with a fake movie trailer featuring Buffy maestro, Joss Whedon? Dude. Seriously. Woefully, I am not sure that the book is going to rock 'cause at first blush the idea of tying Cain's murder of Abel to the creation of Superman by a kid whose dad was shot by a murder weapon that was never found just like they never found Cain's weapon until an ancient order recruits a new zealot to locate the Book of Lies that Adam was asked to write so that the Great Flood wouldn't gosh I am getting a bit fatigued and does anyone have a Jack & Coke handy. Anyhoo, thanks to fellow Buffy, Angel, Firefly/Serenity, Dollhouse-to-be comrade-in-arms (does that make us JossCoats?), Lisa, for the heads-up.

PS - Maybe I'll read it. Maybe I won't. But thank goodness I will not have to go on a date with the author's bored, big-breasted publicist. Oh, and "You Say" by Vertical Horizon is a good song; now playing on iTunes.