Do It: Read Ross Thomas

I am by no means overcompensated, but I am fortunate enough to have enough spare change to need to develop a few ways to keep myself from amassing too much money in any one spot. This poses a bit of a quandary. I don't make enough money to pursue heli-skiing or to become a devote of traditional Nipponese archery. But, I make too much money to establish an enviable set of collectable plates from famous places or to get every Care Bear ever made.

Further: my ENT has strongly encouraged me not to take up with SCUBA gear; I find people who build elaborate train sets in their basement to be as scary as clowns or gun enthusiasts; and, woefully, I lack the truly OCD phenotype necessary to seriously collect comic books or really get into a paraphernalitic sport like fishing.

So, I need a few ways to occasionally bleed the pressure off my bank account without getting into a situation where I find that my hobby is acting as a burn-off flare on the oil rig of my net worth.

One of those ways is eating at South Austin Grill. One of those ways is traveling. But perhaps the most indulgent and unnecessary way is purchasing first editions of Ross Thomas novels.

Thomas wrote international thriller/crime stories, heavy on the political satire and character-creation and lite on the actual mystery. His claim to fame is creating Michael Padillo and “Mac” McCorkle, the bar-owning, booze-swilling, banana republic-hopping heroes of the D.C.-based subset of his oeuvre. Thomas' firsts go for about $50 but can run you more, depending on quality and desirability.

Here's a quote to entice you:

Booth Stallings shifted his gaze to the hurrying Japanese Imperial Marines, then to the dead American medic, and back to the Filipino guerrilla. It occurred to him that this was the second Filipino he had come to know well, the first having been Edmundo something or other from San Diego who, like a robin, had appeared each spring near Stallings' grade and junior high schools, dispatched by the Duncan Yo-Yo people to demonstrate their product. Edmundo could make a Yo-Yo do anything, and for three childhood springs Booth Stallings had taken a limited number of private lessons at an exorbitant fifty cents an hour until, turning thirteen, he had discovered masturbation, Lucky Strikes and girls in approximately that order. -- Thomas, Ross. Out on the Rim.New York (NY): Mysterious Press, 1987.

And, here's the cannon:

The Cold War Swap (1966)
Cast a Yellow Shadow (1967)
The Seersucker Whipsaw (1967)
Singapore Wink (1969)
The Fools in Town are on Our Side (1970)
The Backup Men (1971)
The Porkchoppers (1972)
If You Can't Be Good (1973)
The Money Harvest (1975)
Yellow Dog Contract (1976)
Chinaman's Chance (1978)
The Eighth Dwarf (1979)
The Mordida Man (1981)
Missionary Stew (1983)
Briarpatch (1984)
Out On The Rim (1987)
The Fourth Durango (1989)
Twilight at Mac's Place (1990)
Voodoo, Ltd (1992)
Ah, Treachery! (1994)

Do it: read a Ross Thomas crime thriller.

PS - I have all the books in bold. They sit on the bottom shelves of my vintage quarter-sawn oak, drop-leaf-secretary-topped, barrister bookshelf, which was purchased with this purpose expressly in mind. Oh, and "Fit But You Know It" by The Streets is worth adding to your collection; now playing on iTunes.

5-4-Fri: Mystery Protagonists

Western civilization has produced many fine things, from the computer to Ingrid Bergman, but its pinnacle may well be the existence of a small cast of extraordinarily interesting fictional detectives. And here you were thinking indoor plumbing.

Mind you, this week’s list includes only characters from novels--yes, there will one day be a 5-4-Fri list that features movies--and these protagonists are exclusively men even though many great female detectives are out there tracking down the killer.

1. Sherlock Holmes -- perhaps not the verrry first but the verrry best. He lives in period London; he invents the deductive method; he endearingly condescends to his sidekick, Dr. Watson; he does more coke than La Lohan; he rules. Check him out in his first appearance in A Study in Scarlet. Thanks, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

2. Jonathan Argyll -- a British ex-pat living in Italy beguiled by its art; its culture; his beautiful sidekick, the charmingly stern Flavia di Stefano; and generally everything continental except its art thieves, whom he dispatches with dispatch. Read The Raphael Affair. Thanks Ian Pears.

3. Sonchai Jitpleecheep -- Son of a steel magnolia whore; adoptive son of the bottomlessly and cheerfully corrupt Chief Vikorn; mentor to a sweet, sassy katooey side-kick; narrator extraordinaire; Sonchai is the light of the Royal Thai Police Force and someone you want to get to know. Go to your local library and check out Bangock 8. Thanks, John Burdett.

4. Adam Dalgliesh -- He’s a sensitive gentleman; a poet; a fierce analyst; and the prototypical modern British detective. The ladies love him and so will you. Try cracking open Cover Her Face. Thanks PD James.

5. - Michael Padillo and “Mac” McCorkle -- Dude. You owe this to yourself. Meet these two DC pals who hang out at Mac’s place, when they are not missing/presumed dead for several books; treat everything with the contempt it richly deserves; booze it up with Dickensian ex-CIA operatives; and solve problems only the US “intelligence” industry can foster. Try Twilight at Mac’s Place. Thanks Ross Thomas.

PS - Woefully, I was forced to exclude the infinitely compelling George Smiley because I think he fits a thriller list better--although a case can be made that John Le Carre invented his own genre. Oh, and "All Mixed Up" by Red House Painters is mysteriously catchy; now playing on iTunes.