Thursday, October 30, 2008

Excellent Quotes: The Argonautica

In 1911 publisher James Loeb founded the Loeb Classical Library, setting out "to make the beauty and learning, the philosophy and wit of the great writers of ancient Greece and Rome once more accessible by means of translations that are in themselves real pieces of literature, a thing to be read for the pure joy of it, and not dull transcripts of ideas that suggest in every line the existence of a finer original form from which the average reader is shut out, and to place side by side with these translations the best critical texts of the original works...." According to Wikipedia, the library's volumes provide important works of ancient Greek and Latin Literature in a way designed to make the text accessible to the broadest possible audience, by presenting the original Greek or Latin text on each left-hand leaf, and a fairly literal translation on the facing page.

Today, Harvard University Press hosts the series and on a trip to the People's Republic of Cambridge I dropped by their store and purchased the first volume, Argonautica, by Apollonius Rhodius. It is in the classic green cover (green for Greek, red for Roman/Latin) and, as is not surprising, tells the tale of the Argonauts as interpreted by Apollonius, who so impressed the people of Rhodes that they conferred upon him the freedom of their city--take that, Alexandria.

"Hereupon Jason snatched the golden fleece from the oak, at the maiden's bidding; and she, standing firm, smeared with the charm of the monster's head, till Jason himself bade her turn back towards their ship, and she left the grove of Ares, dusky with shade. And as a maiden catches on her finely wrought robe the gleam of the moon at the full, as it rises above her high-roofed chamber; and her heart rejoices as she beholds the fair ray; so at that time did Jason uplift the mighty fleece in his hands; and from the shimmering of the flocks of wool there settled on his fair cheeks and brow a red flush like a flame." -- Apollonius Rhodes, Argonautica, R.C. Seaton, trans. Cambridge (MA): Harvard University Press, 2003. P. 305.

PS - Unlike my friend Paula, I am woefully ancient language-illiterate so this series is neigh unto useless to me. Moreover, better translations usually exist so I only own the one volume. Oh, and "The Commander Thinks Aloud" by The Long Winters is solid; now playing on iTunes.

Friday, October 24, 2008

5-4-Fri: Mystery Protagonists

Western civilization has produced many fine things, from the computer to Ingrid Bergman, but its pinnacle may well be the existence of a small cast of extraordinarily interesting fictional detectives. And here you were thinking indoor plumbing.

Mind you, this week’s list includes only characters from novels--yes, there will one day be a 5-4-Fri list that features movies--and these protagonists are exclusively men even though many great female detectives are out there tracking down the killer.

1. Sherlock Holmes -- perhaps not the verrry first but the verrry best. He lives in period London; he invents the deductive method; he endearingly condescends to his sidekick, Dr. Watson; he does more coke than La Lohan; he rules. Check him out in his first appearance in A Study in Scarlet. Thanks, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

2. Jonathan Argyll -- a British ex-pat living in Italy beguiled by its art; its culture; his beautiful sidekick, the charmingly stern Flavia di Stefano; and generally everything continental except its art thieves, whom he dispatches with dispatch. Read The Raphael Affair. Thanks Ian Pears.

3. Sonchai Jitpleecheep -- Son of a steel magnolia whore; adoptive son of the bottomlessly and cheerfully corrupt Chief Vikorn; mentor to a sweet, sassy katooey side-kick; narrator extraordinaire; Sonchai is the light of the Royal Thai Police Force and someone you want to get to know. Go to your local library and check out Bangock 8. Thanks, John Burdett.

4. Adam Dalgliesh -- He’s a sensitive gentleman; a poet; a fierce analyst; and the prototypical modern British detective. The ladies love him and so will you. Try cracking open Cover Her Face. Thanks PD James.

5. - Michael Padillo and “Mac” McCorkle -- Dude. You owe this to yourself. Meet these two DC pals who hang out at Mac’s place, when they are not missing/presumed dead for several books; treat everything with the contempt it richly deserves; booze it up with Dickensian ex-CIA operatives; and solve problems only the US “intelligence” industry can foster. Try Twilight at Mac’s Place. Thanks Ross Thomas.

PS - Woefully, I was forced to exclude the infinitely compelling George Smiley because I think he fits a thriller list better--although a case can be made that John Le Carre invented his own genre. Oh, and "All Mixed Up" by Red House Painters is mysteriously catchy; now playing on iTunes.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Excellent Quotes: Say Uncle

This past week I attended the inaugural reading of the Poet Laureate, Kay Ryan. She is my favorite living poet and she turns out to be a funny, funny human as well as a master craftsman. During her reading, Ryan included, "That Will to Divest":

"Action creates
a taste
for itself.
Meaning: once
you've swept
the shelves
of spoons
and plates
you kept
for guests,
it gets harder
not to also
simplify the larder,
not to dismiss
rooms, not to
divest yourself
of all the chairs
but one, not
to test what
singleness can bear,
once you've begun."
--Ryan, Kay. Say Uncle. New York (NY): Grove/Atlantic, Inc., 2000. P. 17.

PS - I opened the door to the Madison Building for Ryan as she was on her way in to the event; woefully, she didn't recognize me, the Middle Manager Laureate. Oh, and Rybyn Hitchcock's "Underground Sun" is fun; now playing on iTunes.

Friday, October 17, 2008

5-4-Fri: Online Dance Videos

This week you are rewarded for your loyal readership with five engaging dances, available through the tubes of the Web:

1. David Elsewhere - This is the greatest thing I think I have ever seen on the Internets. David is the second act to perform and he is not from Santa Anna, he is from the future: a beautiful, beautiful future.
2. Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center - Some 1,500 prisoners recreate the awesome Michael Jackson video, "Thriller." Who cares how this got made, it is spectacular.
3. Benny Lava - New rule: don't swim or watch this within an hour of eating or your stomach will hurt. Someone translated what they think people are actually saying in Bollywood musicals.
4. Where the Hell is Matt - Endearingly goofy dude does awesome dance for no reason; almost a pure thing from one of the first modern global citizens. (Note: select "view in high quality")
5. Christopher Walken - Fatboy Slim convinced Walken to work it on the video to his "Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars." Dude (serious pause) enjoy.

PS - Woefully, I cannot dance as well as any of the above-mentioned folks. Oh, and "Rock and Roll (Could Never Hip Hop Like This)" by Handsome Boy Modeling School is eminently danceable; now playing on iTunes.

5-4-Fri: Fantasy Series

If you are like me, and you aren’t, when you were a teen you didn’t have to furtively search the used book stores of major cities for dogeared copies of There and Back Again like your elders--you simply rode the wave of America’s fantasy novel explosion. Okay, there was a downside to reading fantasy: no girlfriend (or was that the headgear?), no respect, and no more money for comics anymore bacause these books went down like a cool bottle of Mountain Dew on a hot summer day and you had to own all of them, right.

Here are five series that I enjoyed at various ages:

1. The Prydain Chronicles -- Lloyd Alexander’s classic Welsh mythology about Taran Wanderer coming into manhood during a time of threat and darkness. What elementary schooler doesn’t love an oracle piggie?!

2. The Shanara Series -- With cringe-inducing titles (Sword of Shanara, Elfstones of Shanara and Wishsong of Shanara), Terry Brooks follows the adventures of three generations of Ohmsfords--Shea, Wil and Brin--as they face doom at the side of the wise and powerful Allanon. Teenage goodness.

3. Incarnations of Immortality -- the somewhat sexist but hilarious Piers Anthony is the Steven King of fantasy (sorry, Uncle Stevie, The Dark Tower didn’t cut it). Among his series are this one that posits the notion that our anthropomorphic icons--Mother Earth, Father Time, Death--are real job titles. Sometimes, folks get tricked into taking the job. When you discover girls it’s time to discover Piers Anthony.

4. Lord of the Rings -- As I got older I understood these masterpieces more thoroughly. It’s as if Jo Rowling wrote The Sorcerer’s Stone and then pulled a Melville and veered off into creating her own shadowy meta-narrative on Northern European mythology and providing a critique of WWII. You know them. You love them. Time to re-read them, which I did as the recent movies came out. ‘Nuff said.

5. Dresden Files -- Lately, I have been enjoying the exploits of Harry Dresden, Wizard. A sad sack denizen of Chicago, Harry plays detective, fumbles with the ladies, unwinds his personal history, and fends off the unwanted repercussions of having a hot fairy godmother while sharing the couch with his dog-sized cat (and then also with his adoptive dog). Get a case, get beat up, pull everyone’s bacon from the fire, nurse your wounds with a pint of "Mac" McAnally’s homemade beer--lather, rinse, repeat.

PS - Woefully, I have to recommend the cliched path of starting each series with the first novel. In order: The Book of Three, Sword of Shanara, On A Pale Horse, The Fellowship of the Ring, and Storm Front. Oh, and "American Girls" by Counting Crows is great to read by; now playing on iTunes.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Secret Ingredient

I recently made a mix for a tape club I belong to--you make a mix tape on your month and send it out to other folks. The rest of the year, they send you their best music each month. I have gotten to know some cool bands this way and purchased their albums and even learned how to play some of their songs. The industry doesn't get it. Deeply doesn't get it.

I decided to make a concept mix tape called, The Secret Ingredient. I recommend these songs to you (complete with the liner notes from the mix tape):

Intro
What is the secret ingredient that makes songs into loveable brothers and sisters? A special adjective in the lyrics? The same producer? Length? Kevin Bacon? Listen and learn. Tunes are presented in chronological order for maximum obfuscation and to remind some of us how old we are.

1970 Sweet Jane
The Velvet Underground’s Loaded is an amazing album. I wanted my band to play this song but “Femme Fatale”—from their album with Nico—was a better fit so that’s the one we perform. Bonus note: my old guitar teacher told me that my life had not earned me the right to play “Sweet Jane.”

1975 Born to Run
Okay, Bruce Springsteen is an obsessive genius. I was mesmerized by the video about the making of Born to Run. This was the unofficial song of my high school cross-country team, which won six consecutive state championships no thanks to me. I think Bruuuce might have gotten a letter jacket out of the deal, though.

1977 Mr. Blue Sky
All ELO albums remind me of hanging out at my next-door neighbor Eric’s house, but Out of the Blue was the massive double-album that we just wore out—back when music media was wear-out-able. Can you hear the Beatles changing everything? Eric was the very first friend I made in Chapel Hill. He had excellent taste in music and is now an accomplished guitarist.

1980 And Through the Wire
Unlike Haircut 100’s eponymous album, Peter Gabriel’s Peter Gabriel was an awesome experience. Thank goodness he left Genesis and struck out on his own. This is not true for Sting, his fellow Englishman.

1980 Once in a Lifetime
Did Remain in Light change your life? No? Get in a time machine and go back and be 15 years old and try that answer again, mister. “Once in a Lifetime” is one of my all-time favorite songs by the Talking Heads – or by anyone for that matter. (Sometimes I think about how funny it would have been if Lloyd Dobler had played this for Diane Court on the boom box.)

1982 New Frontier
My youngest brother played the drums for a while and got interested in some cool jazzy bands. One day The Nightfly showed up (in cassette tape form, I think!) in his bedroom. I exercised temporary primo geniture and listened to it for a good long while. “New Frontier” seems to me to be a signature Donald Fagan sound. I have always felt fondly toward this man but that may be influenced by the fact that one of my best friends named her cat Steely Dan.

1983 Every Day I Write the Book
I recently got a bit peevish with my bandmates when they did not agree that Elvis Costello was the greatest lyric writer of the Rock and Roll era. Seriously. And none of that Best of Elvis stuff; go out and get a copy of Punch the Clock.

1984 The Unforgettable Fire
Can’t recall which album “The Unforgettable Fire” is from? Just remember that it is the title track from the album of the same name. U2 has, in fact, named three of their albums after songs. Dude, once in High School I went to an away meet for track and field instead of going to a concert being held by this new band headed by a guy named Bono Vox. In retrospect, the small red ribbon for third place just seems like a haunting reminder that I am a monkey in running shoes.

1989 Merely a Man
XTC. Need I say more? Sweet Betty Ford, these men are geniuses. Random fact: the album name, Oranges & Lemons, comes from a previous song lyric that comes from an English nursery rhyme. Not my ab-fab product by this Swindon band – that’d be the entire album, Skylarking – but this song is excellent and it fits.

1989 Hey Ladies
Remember when everyone thought that the Beastie Boys had fallen into the classic sophomore slump with the release of Paul’s Boutique? I myself was not a huge fan of the album originally. Now I see the error of my ways. When I was a boy I listened as a boy.

1990 Graveyard Shift
I never did get to see Uncle Tupelo live. They had broken up and become Son Volt and Wilco by the time I had heard of them. I deeply envy people who got to hear alt-county being established as they toured to promote the seminal No Depression. Missing them makes me want to open up a whisky bottle and walk out the screen door and wonder if I have a life worth livin’.

1994 Circus Envy
My favorite band is R.E.M. Let me say that again. My favorite band is R.E.M. Their 9th album, Monster, was reviled even by hardcore fans but I L.O.V.E. it. It rocks. And, in retrospect, the greatest American band would subsequently semi-blow until this year’s stunning return to form with Accelerate. Oh, and you should know that my favorite band is R.E.M.

1995 Drown
Hey, remember way back when I told you about how I missed that whole Uncle Tupelo scene? Well the birth of Son Volt is the anodyne for that pain. Trace is a phenomenal album. It might even be a Phnom-Penh-al album. Me lovvie.

1996 Free to Decide
Such a big voice for such a small lassie! The Cranberries’ To the Faithful Departed is just a great album and is home to my favorite song by them: “Forever Yellow Skies.” That is not on this mix. Sorry.

2000 Weapon of Choice
This song is included here for many reasons. One, Fatboy Slim is one mean musical mofo. Two, Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars is really something you should listen to more regularly. Three, Bootsy baby! Four, it is a big but obtuse hint as to the secret ingredient that makes a mix tape tasty.

2001 Short Skirt/ Long Jacket
Take that David E. Kelley! Do you think this song has been driving Harrison Ford crazy for years? This is the big hit from Cake’s Comfort Eagle. Damn fine base line. I personally do not know people who want a white Chrysler Lebaron, and I do not want to know these people, but I love that line.

2005 Bigger Than Me
Let’s see. Last FM begat Tegan and Sara. Tegan and Sara begat hours and absolutely hours of listening to The Con. Then the sun begat it becoming a melted CD on my friend’s dashboard. Then Letterman begat Bell X1. Bell X1 begat the album, Flock, which begat this song, which begat the whole idea of a concept mix tape. And it was good.

PS - Can you guess the secret ingredient? Hint: check the post labels. Oh, and "Dark Come Soon" by Tegan and Sara is guh-hood, so guh-hood; now playing on iTunes.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Excellent Quotes: Pattern Recognition

William Gibson is The Man. I was unprepared for Neuromancer, which was utterly engrossing, and I have absolutely loved everything I have read by him since. He was like a cyberpunk gateway drug steering me toward Haruki Murakami and Neil Stephenson but he remains a unique leading voice. Hey, anyone who says that "Earth is the alien planet now" and who re-wrote science fiction on a typewriter is okay by me.

In his excellent Pattern Recognition, Gibson's protagonist Cayce Pollard is a design consultant who is actually physically allergic to bad aesthetics. On a trip to London Cayce goes to Harvey Nichols and, unpreparedly encountering a Tommy Hilfiger display in the menswear department, she gets sick:

"My God, don't they know? This stuff is simulacra of simulacra. A diluted tincture of Ralph Lauren, who had himself diluted the glory days of Brooks Brothers, who themselves had stepped on the product of Jermyn Street and Savile Row, flavoring their ready-to-wear with liberal lashings of polo knit and regimental stripes. But Tommy surely is the null point, the black hole. There must be some Tommy Hilfiger event horizon, beyond which it is impossible to be more derivative, more removed from the source, more devoid of soul. Or so she hopes, and doesn't know, but suspects in her heart that this in fact is what accounts for his long ubiquity."
--Gibson, William. Pattern Recognition. New York (NY): G. P. Putnam's Sons, 2003. Pp. 17-18.

As a bonus, here is another fetching quote from the opening page of the same book as Cayce arrives in the U.K. from New York: "She knows, now, absolutely, hearing the white noise that is London, that Damien's theory of jet lag is correct: that her mortal soul is leagues behind her, being reeled in on some ghostly umbilical down the vanished wake of the plane that brought her here, hundreds of thousands of feet above the Atlantic. Souls can't move that quickly, and are left behind, and must be awaited, upon arrival, like lost luggage." Two quotes, I know--woeful lack of discipline.

PS - My mom has some Cayce in her. She used to take the art in hotel rooms down and place it in the closet while she stayed to avoid visual discomfort and soul-strain. Oh, and I am seriously considering learning how to play "I Am Not the Only Cowboy" by the Josh Joplin Group; now playing on iTunes.

Facebook Lexicon

I've noticed that the classic Facebook status update is creating a grammatical legacy. Originally, the status bar only allowed you to add information about yourself after the fixed construction "Your Name is:". (Information such as how you were enjoying a delicious hoagie or that you were rejoicing that the Heels just scored or that you were, at midnight, ready for a lie-down.) Forgetting the need of your social network to know your every move, many people simply treat the "is" more as a jumping off point than as a present tense verb with any implications for the words that follow.

For example, just yesterday mi amigo Zain posted that she "is tra-la-la." Another friend says she "is you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." It has become somewhat hip to simply ignore Facebook's forced sentence construction and go for it. In fact, Facebook--never far behind its facebookers--now even lets you delete the once-obligatory "is" (although it still discreetly suggests it, like a butler hoping that the young gentleman is not going out in public wearing just his undershirt as a top).

It seems to me to be its own example of language evolution, analogous to a form of functional shifting; some moral equivalent of turning Google into a verb, such as "I googled that hottie."

In any case, when I obsessively check on the statuses of my own friendses I am reminded of the awesomely woeful '80s fashion of storytelling. Remember how everyone used to say, "She was like, 'no way,' and I was like 'yes way' and then she was like 'nuh uh!' and I was all like, 'YUH huh!' and then Bruce was like, 'Dude, its true.'" Those were, like, the days.

PS - In fact, I think the Facebook status update should force you to relive the '80s. "iClipse is like: this coke is tasty." Oh, and "I Gotta Move" by Ben Kweller is catchy like the herps; now playing on iTunes.

Friday, October 3, 2008

5-4-Fri: Mixed Drinks

Well, if it's Friday somewhere I should eventually probably do a happy hour-oriented 5-4-Fri. Usually I provide just a quick publishing citation or a short provenance, something tres brief; this time I'll include more robust info--the actual recipes. Without further ado, please to enjoy five delicious mixed drinks:

1. Sidecar--this is the litmus test for a bar. Many is the time I have asked some woefully talentless hottie or some barkeep poser to make this deco classic only to be met with a blank stare worthy of Sarah Palin. RECIPE = 2 oz brandy; 1/2 oz triple sec; 1 oz lemon juice; mix, shake, strain.
2. Dark and Stormy--new to me and fan-tas-tic. Thanks to my pal and bartender extraodinare, Damon. RECIPE = 2 oz Black Seal Dark Rum; Ginger Beer; serve over ice.
3. Black Crush--Introduced to me on a "We're Turning 40 and Going to Vegas! But What Happens in Vegas Need Not Stay in Vegas 'Cause We're Too Damn Old To Get Up To Much" trip with the fellas. Patent-pending by the Bellagio, which sells this stuff like hotcakes. RECIPE = muddle 3 blackberries with fresh mint; 2 oz rasberry-infused vodka; dash sour mix; two dashes Frothee; mix, shake, strain; float club soda on top and garnish with mint sprig.
4. Jack and Coke--My standard. The best. And it used to be that the thick and delicious irony of JD coming from a dry county in TN was a special bonus. Like this Lynchburg liquor so much I roomed with a Moore County native. RECIPE = Put some Jack in some coke.
5. Whiskey Rickey--Find the speakeasy HummingbirdtoMars and order this. Who cares if you can only afford it with a $700 billion line of credit from the feds; it's worth it. RECIPE = 1 1/2 oz whiskey; 1/2 oz lime juice; 1 tsp simple syrup; club soda; lime wedge; serve over ice.

PS - As far as we can tell, my brother and I invented a drink called The Austin, which includes 3 oz lime mix (2 parts sweet lime juice, 1 part unsweet lime juice; 1 part water); 1 1/2 oz gin; 1/2 oz triple sec. It's named in honor of the now-dead-to-me Austin Grill (alright, maybe I still go there every Sunday like clockwork but someday a real rain is coming), which just went corporate but which was once an oasis of Tex-Mex goodness in Ye Olde Towne. The LBJ was the Best. Rita. Ever. Oh, and "Rocky Took a Lover" by Bell X1 is grrrreat; now playing on el iTunes.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Blogiquette

Okay, so I need to admit that last weekend I was technically at the beach and put up on the Internets a not-fully-baked 5-4-Fri blog post on "Great Album Liner Notes." Any number of my surf-going compatriots were either bloggers, avid blog readers, or actual how-to-blog instructors. Apparently, half-assed blog entries are a woeful no-no--even if you fully plan to finish them later. Who knew? Many apologies to my legion readers. Shall it happen again? No, it shan't.

PS - Thanks for dragging my half-ass back to dry land, Katie. The fantabulous "Orange Wedge" by the Chemical Brothers is dedicated to you; now playing on iTunes.