Excellent Quotes: Anthony Bourdain

I read Entertainment Weekly weekly. Don't judge. A fellow needs his vices. I busted a gut reading a welcome but unexpected brand bashing in last week's edition. EW asked celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain about "the five most terrifying meals he's ever encountered." After naming rotten shark and three-day-old warthog, he winds up, reaches back, and - POW! - completely beyotch-slaps Olive Garden:

"Anybody who makes fake Italian food--I become so angry. Italian food to me is such a beautiful, simple thing that most Italian grandmothers can make at least well, and any American with a few dollars and five minutes in the supermarket can make in 20 minutes. I'm apoplectic when I see pasta or Mexican food abused."

-- Anthony Bourdain. "Seriously Scary Meals." Interview with Archana Ram. Entertainment Weekly #1145 (March 11, 2011): p. 68.

Oh, no, he didn't!

PS - I feel exactly like Bourdain whenever fate steers me to that woeful excuse for a restaurant, Don Pablo's. Who can do that to Mexican, I ask you? Turns out that the once iconic South Austin Grill can, that's who. SAG used to be my favorite restaurant ever, but I have had to change my mind and leave behind a once-a-week commitment that stretches back for more than a decade. More on this soon. Oh, and "If I Can't Change Your Mind" by Sugar is anything but tasteless; now playing on iTunes.

Excellent Quotes: Stripes

He's a recluse. He's a mystery. He hardly ever returns phone calls. No, no, not me, silly: Bill Murray. His work in "Stripes" was inspired. Particularly this classic quote from the side-splitting met-the-woefully-underprepared-men scene:

"Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear and, when I do, it's usually something unusual. But, now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell; so much fun. And the imagination! Lee Harvey: you are a madman! When you stole that cow and your friends tried to make it with the cow; I want to party with you, cowboy. And the two of us together, forget it. I'm going to go out on a limb here. I'm going to volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe. And Sargent Hulka isn't always going to be there to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest, bestest buddy and big toe: Sargent Hulka."

-- John Winger (Bill Murray). Ivan Reitman, "Stripes." Columbia Pictures, 1981.

PS -- We are all deeply indebted to Harold Ramis. Any you guys call me Francis and I'll kill ya. Lighten up, Francis. Oh, and "Do Wah Diddy" by Manfred Mann is Oxbergerlicious; now playing on iTunes.