How Snow Falls

It's happened: I feel that I know you well enough to foist a poem on you. Woe to you. That's what you get for reading the blog. (Really, I'll try not to do it too often.)

I still look forward to snow during the Christmas season. Four years ago a crisp winter storm blanketed Your Nation's Capital in fluffy goodness and--joyously pelted by the stuff--I snuck indoors briefly to write about it.

How Snow Falls

The snow has a crush on everyone,
Embracing all as it falls with unique appreciation.
It holds hands with each leaf of the evergreen tree
And hugs the whole wide-armed ground, equally.
The lamppost, upright and dutiful chap,
It tops with a proud watch cap.
Snow wraps up each of its beloved,
Road and home, with powdered love.
And me, head over heels with snow,
It kisses on the mouth, and cheeks, and nose
With its darting, sharp affection.

PS - I hope it snows again soon! I was just on a business trip to Portland, OR and it started snowing like mad. My cabbie was from Wisconsin and made his derision for his adoptive city's snow-savvy abundantly clear. Oh, and "Little Red Light" by Fountains of Wayne is guh-guh-great; now playing on iTunes.

5-4-Fri: Home Range

Animals need room to move; a “home range” if you will. The elephant, for instance, roams across 266 square kilometers on average. The gorilla needs 35 square kilometers to stroll around. You’d think that homo sapiens sapiens, with our cars and airplanes and longboards and whatnot would have huge homeranges and that, moreover, we’d be found in a wide variety unpredictable locations given all the choices in our lives regarding destinations. You’d be wrong.

A 2008 study shows that the average person can be found most often in one of very few highly repetitive, predictable locales. (Thanks to my Sister-in-Law for referring me to the NYT article!) That’s right there, Steady Eddie, you are leading a plain, vanilla, statistically predictable life. Admit it. Embrace it. I have.

I do go to new and varied places but, to be frank, outside of my apartment I spend a woefully, disturbingly large amount of time in 5 spots. Here’s the honest list of my homebases in no particular order:

1. National Geographic Society - Not more than 10 miles from my apartment, I spend faaaar too much of my time here. From Monday-Friday, and some of Saturday, I am certain to be found here while there is daylight.

2. YMCA - One block from Nat Geo, the massive, multi-story downtown YMCA is home to my twice-weekly “workouts,” by which I mean lifting embarrassingly light amounts of weight in very small arcs over and over--fitness results yet to be certifiably clear.

3. The Guitar Shop / Band Practice - Again twice a week, like clockwork, I can be spotted at this combo of locations--The Guitar Shop for lessons on Mondays and band practice on Tuesdays at an undisclosed location nearby.

4. Whole Foods - Closer to home, I heed the siren call of this overpriced grocery store weekly (hey, a fellah has to get his chicken nuggets somewhere). Who dresses up to shop? These people, apparently. Still, great cheese selection.

5. South Austin Grill - Despite its downhill slide as a corporate franchise, I am at SAG every Sunday night for dinner. My father made a spaghetti dinner on Sunday nights without fail and I got used to the idea. These days it’s enchalatas and margaritas rather than maranara and red wine, but the concept holds.

Wanna try for yourself? Please post your list of 5 places.

PS - Even back when I was doing a lot of distance running, I had three preferred 4-6 mile loops around Old Town that could be combined or extended for marathon training. I guess that only annual beach trips and visits to NYC disturb the tight plotting of my Brownian movement. Oh, and I am predictably listening to "Bittersweet" by Big Head Todd and the Monsters; now playing on iTunes.

Do It: Watch "White Christmas"

This has become a family tradition: watching a truly clever cartoon version of "White Christmas."

Such the holiday magic.

So, watch "White Christmas." Do it.

PS - I think this was originally an animated greeting card; woefully, no longer available. Oh, and "The Shining" by Badly Drawn Boy gives you faith; now playing on iTunes.

What is Going On? (Style Manual)

I, perhaps somewhat finically, provide a full citation for "Excellent Quote" entries based on MLA style. Looks like this:

Author Last Name, First Name. Title. City (State): Publisher, Date of Publication. Page number(s).

There you go. You're welcome.

PS - Thanks to the English faculty at the University of North Carolina for introducing me to the MLA Style Manual. I have a woefully unreasonable fondness for that guide. Oh, and "Sligo Creek" by former National Geographic staffer Al Petteway is stylish; now playing on iTunes.

Do It: See "Doubt"

As I have hinted before, Meryl Streep sometimes seems to me to draw too much attention to her acting even as she gives a fine performance. Well, she has landed a perfect role in the film adaptation of the Pulitzer Prize-winning play, "Doubt." She plays an uptight, mannered school maarm of a nun who uses her iron rod discipline and belief in the power of day-to-day order to keep a simmering crisis of faith at bay. Streep is impeccably supported--and it IS her movie--by the always-excellent Philip Seymour Hoffman (who is perhaps woefully thwarted from being the greatest actor of his generation by being so obviously, strikingly, instantly, persistently recognizable) and by Amy Adams, who deserves another Oscar nod for her performance.

In fact, the whole damn thing is perfect. The new-to-me Viola Davis gives Adams a run for her money and the rest of the cast argues that Ellen Chenoweth--whose casting talent brought you 2007's "No Country for Old Men" and "Michael Clayton"--is seriously, seriously underpaid. And it never hurts to film a play. There is something about the distillation of mood and the strong narrative structure necessary to undergird a successful play that makes for a stylized but powerful movie. Think "Spanish Prisoner" or "American Beauty" -- both theatery films either by design or directorial sensibility.

Anyway, do yourself a favor: get over whatever is keeping you from the meg-o-plex-i-con this season and see "Doubt." Do it.

PS - Ellen Chenoweth worked on "O Brother, Where Art Thou," "Ruthless People" and "Diner." Seriously. Underpaid. Oh, and "I Bow Down and Pray to Every Woman I See" by Chuck Prophet leaves no doubt; now playing on iTunes.

Excellent Quotes: Into the Blue

British mystery writer, Robert Goddard has the full support of American horror guru, Steven King, whose Top Ten lists in Entertainment Weekly magazine never fail to provide good fodder for yours truly. As per usual, I have been loving my Uncle Stevie's recommendation. After two books, I'd say that Goddard--no relation to the father of modern rocketry--appears to focus on middle-aged, amateur detectives whose sojourns in the dark side of life to solve inventive mysteries reconnect them to a lost sense of purpose and help them come to grips with aging. The stories see them reinventing a sense of personal relevance that does not rely on youthful vitality or the wide-open promise of their salad days.

Not surprisingly, these protagonists tend to start out on page one woefully adrift and self-pitying. Goddard has found a way to put the point perfectly. In the offices of a psychiatrist, Harry, the sad-sack hero of Into the Blue squints through a haze of casual alcoholism and diffuse lust for a missing woman many years his junior:

"In what way did you like her?"

How to answer? Harry stared up at the ceiling and followed with his eye the pattern of the covering.

"We just hit it off together," he replied lamely. "Allowing for the generation gap, we found we had a surprising amount in common. Both of us are misfits, really, aren't we?"

"Are you?"

"Oh, yes. Coming home's taught me that. I've no family apart from my mother, no job, no money, no property, no prospects. As far as I can see, England doesn't welcome a prodigal son like me."

"That sounds rather like self-pity."

"It is, I suppose. But when nobody else feels sorry for you, you tend to feel sorry for yourself, don't you?"

-Goddard, Robert. Into the Blue. New York (NY): Delta, 2006. Pp. 211-12.

PS - I LOVE it when I find a new author who has a whole cannon I had been previously unaware of. This is the same effect as finding out that you can obsessively watch, say, Season One of "Lost" on DVD in a week and that there are still 5 more seasons to come. (Not that I am hoping to get any gifts in particular for Christmas.) Oh, and Jimmy Lafave's "Hideaway Girl" is wonderful; now playing on iTunes (Thanks to Anne for the KGSR hookup).

5-4-Fri: Poetry-related Stuff

Poetry is the goodness. This Friday, you are treated to five kinds of cool poetry-related content. Alors:

1 - The Poet Laureate. Best. Job. Ever. Annual honorific position with few responsibilities and TONS of street cred in nerdy English circles. My fave living poet is the current, but woefully unraimented, Laureate.

2 - Poet's House. My pal Alison gave me a membership here for my birthday one year and, even though it is far away in NYC, I have kept it up ever since. Congratulations to Lee Briccetti--a poet herself--for making this library cum movement such a success.

3 - Top 500 Poems. Wild Bill Harmon of "No I Won't Sanction Your Dopey Thesis Idea" fame edited this groovy compendium. Waaaay to go, Bill.

4 - Best American Poetry. Series editor David Lehman works with a new editor each year to provide a great guide to the best in American poems. An affordable way to keep up with the happenings.

5 - Norton Anthology. An oldie but a goodie. Impossibly thin vellum paper. Jillions of poems. Used to be two massive volumes. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Buy it/them (or dig them out of the old college boxes).

PS - Want to hear the "raiment" joke? Download the audio file of Kae Ryan's November 1, 2008 reading at the Library of Congress. Oh, and "Please Read the Letter" by Alison Krauss and Robert Plant is also the goodness; now playing on iTunes.

Travis McGee Lives!

A pal who watches Readerville closely just sent me the following, hilarious posting by "tpc" to the site's Bibliolounge forum:

"One of my resolutions for 2009 is to start a new blog -—yeah, yeah, starting a blog is so 2004. I’ve started two of them and got bored with myself after a month both times.

My problem of course is that me and my thoughts, on their own, aren’t interesting enough for anyone to bookmark. so, I needed a sure-fire hook to get people to bookmark and visit.

So, the name of my blog will be 'Sex Scenes from the Life of Travis McGee.'

Each day, I will post an excerpt from a John D. MacDonald Travis McGee book—just one of the sex scenes. These scenes are, to my mind, the most inadvertantly funny pieces of writing in American literature. MacDonald never quite escaped his post-WWII carefulness and prudity in writing sex scenes, but he still went into great detail about what was happening. But his scenes generally never mentioned any part of the human body, so you were never quite sure if McGee and his partner were having sex or discussing possible ways to diagram a sentence.

Having set the scene with the McGee excerpt, then I can post anything I want in my blog."

Daymn, that's funny!

PS - Woefully, I had to join Readerville just to access the quote. Another login to remember. Sigh. Oh, and "Sticky Chemical" by Bobby Bare, Jr. just kills me; now playing on iTunes.

5-4-Fri: Children's Books

This 5-4-Fri is about children's books--as the title promises--but with a twist. See if you can ferret out the twist. Yessir, its a brain twizzler. Haaard to figure out. Yup. Yup. Tres difficle. And Clever. Oh, yeah. (Well, YOU try coming up with 5 things of any interest at all each week.)

1 - Uncurious George. Hah! Mockery. Speaks for itself.

2 - Goodnight Bush. This book is so durn good that a friend of mine has an 11-year-old who just decided that he is going to give it to his father for Christmas.

3 - Uncle Shelby's ABZ Book. Secretly one of the most subversive books ever. Get it. Now. Seriously, log off. Why are you still here? Go get it.

4 -My Father's Dragon - Ostensibly a children's book. Really a morality tale.

5- If Everybody Did - One of my favorite social critiques masquerading as a children's book. Woefully, I cannot find any really good links other than the perfunctory Amazon promo. Go to a used book store and check it out.

PS - Everyone's first environmental primer ought to be McGillot's Pool. In fact, Dr. Seuss should properly be in the adult non-fiction section. Oh, and "Second Chance" by Liam Finn is worthy of his parent; now playing on iTunes.

Do It: Watch "Death Star Canteen" Lego Movie

Many moons ago I played this woeful game where a girl chased after me and I cluelessly ignored her; then, just when she completely lost interest, I fawningly chased after her for, like, a year. Anyhoo, she had this fondness for cross-dressing British comedian, Eddie Izzard.

The man is beeg genius. And some fellow genius has made a lego movie out of his "Death Star Canteen" sketch. I have booted this thing up about 20 times. Haw! Never grows old.

Watch the lego version of Eddie's routine on YouTube. Do it.

PS - My game is patented and now available to play at home--from Parker Brothers. Oh, and "Shine" by Collective Soul is rockin'; now playing on iTunes.

Do It: Watch Blue Crush

New feature time. Every once and a while, I’ll recommend something to you that you really ought to do to make your life more enjoyable. These recommendations may be fairly commonsensical and obvious (pay off your debt, root for the Tar Heels) or they may be counterintuitive, as with the inaugural “Do It.”

Here goes: Watch Blue Crush. You remember, the cheesy Kate Bosworth vehicle about grrl power surfing. NOT a good film. But, oddly, a must-watch.

Kate is huh-huh-huh-hot. Not so strong with the acting. And I think it spent about one whole weekend in just 42 theaters before proceeding directly to video and not collecting $200. But that is exactly the point. Now you can watch it in the comfort of your own home on some kind of Blue RayBan XL-DVD-HD-MMVII disk and soak in what I think is the crispest ocean footage I have ever seen.

Plus, the story has bone structure almost as good as Kate’s. The film was inspired by a Susan Orlean article in the New Yorker. (Orlean--who was “having a moment”--also inspired the Charlie Kaufman flick, Adaptation starring perennial “watch me act” Oscar bait, Meryl Streep in a good, loose role.)

I recommend watching the film itself pretty much as warm up for the DVD extras (and for Kate, who was hacht!). On the “dude, sweet” side, the footage is gorgeous and the actors fight to be as beautiful as the scenery. On the “woefully gnarly” side, the dialogue descends to the level of Nike ads. But then you can put in Disk 2 and watch the making of.

Watch Blue Crush. Do It.

PS - I have never really surfed (does snapping a fin count?) and--with a center of gravity about 3 inches above the top of my head--I do not intend to learn. But I am in love with body surfing and, as dumb as it sounds, the feeling inside my head riding a wave 3 feet off the deck is the same one visually depicted in surf films when the board tilts over a cerulean 10 footer. Oh, and “Sun is Shining” by Finley Quaye is radical, bro; now playing on iTunes.

5-4-Fri: Fridays

You knew this was going to happen eventually. The time has come to force 5-4-Fri to be meta. (Isn't EVERYTHING better when it's meta?) That's right, people, this week we are featuring five famous "Fridays" in the Five For Friday feature. Without further ado:

1. Friday, The Man - Robinson Crusoe was the star of the original, often imitated-never duplicated, East Coast, old skool version of "24." Except that he was trapped on an island off Venezuela for twenty-four years not some measly 24 hours (take that, Jack Bauer). Until one fateful Friday in the 24th year, he was utterly alone except for a goat, a dog and his talking parrot, "Poll." Then one day a Native American captive beset by cannibals showed up on his island. Ole Rob rescued him and, showing the same panache with which he named his bird, Crusoe christened his new companion, "Friday." Have you read it? Read it.

2. T.G.I.Fridays - Admit it. You have eaten here. You might not have liked it. You might not have enjoyed its stupendously slow service. You might not have been waited on by anyone as cute as Jennifer Aniston. But you have eaten here. Hey, in the end, Obama is right. We are not blue states. We are not red states. We are bound together as Americans by having eaten at T.G.I.Fridays.

3. Friday, The Day - Thank God It's Venus' Day. TGIV, baby. The Sixth Day, maybe. I like how Merriam-Webster just assumes that you are going to think of Sunday as the first day of the week. Sucky convention; I personally think of Sunday as the end of the week but it's Friday I think of when I say I'm working for the weekend. (No, of course not. Naturally, I'd never actually say that--that's cruel.)

4. Science Friday - That Ira Flatow! Do you listen to "Talk Of The Nation: Science Friday?" Maaaaybe not as much fun as sipping a Dark and Stormy, but fun, fun, fun. (Waoh, 404! Internal blog reference. Link to past 5-4-Fri entry. I told you we were getin' all kinds of kooky.)

5. Friday, The Genetically Engineered Girl - Let's hear it for hot "Artifical Persons!" Friday is the babelicious and eponymous star of the 1982 Robert Heinlein novel. Woefully, not his best work. But who knew when I purchased it? Sometimes I do judge a book by its cover; sue me.

PS - Kids are kind of like Robinson Crusoe. Think about it. They have marvelous adventures--much more fun than adulthood. They are basically trapped until they are about 24 years into the thing. And, no matter how inventive they are, they tend to name things literally--"Lion" the stuffed lion, "Friday" the guy you saved on Friday. Oh, and "Lips Like Sugar" by Echo and the Bunnymen is so '80s but still so good; now playing on iTunes.